Ben Bugajski

Why I Write Reflection

The Why I Write assignment was the final big assignment of the term, and it was simply that: explaining why I write. There were no other specifications, and I don't even remember getting a formal prompt for it. I was writing why I write.

This was, at first, difficult, and I approached it by thinking what I write and going from there. I write essays and assignments for classes, I write a few blog posts (during the summer when I have time), and I write for my job as a student intern at the University of Michigan faculty/staff newspaper, The University Record. All of these were different: one for a grade, one for myself, and one for money and “real-world” experience. So instead of trying to find similarities between those, I looked back at my other projects from the course.

The re-purposing project (which I’ll do my best not to spoil in case you haven’t read it yet!) was a spur-of-the-moment decision and instead of following the prompt, I decided I’d follow the style of Winnie-the-Pooh. This became really challenging in the re-mediation project, however by that point it was too late to go back and change it. Funny how that all worked out.

Then, for my re-mediation project, I ended up picking between a few different genres of humorous YouTube video series. I did a lot of research for it, but most of it was because I didn’t want to stop watching funny videos.

I realized that for both of these projects, I wasn’t motivated by the opportunity to show off my writing to future employers, like many of my classmates; a Winnie-the-Pooh spinoff and three dorky videos are not exactly résumé material for many jobs. However, I did them just because I wanted to. I wanted to write like Milne, I wanted to watch funny videos. I wanted to try something different, something that didn’t involve academic essays or formal style, and I wanted a chance to breathe and let my writing just do its thing.

Thus, I came to the conclusion that, at least in this class, I write to find beauty. Everything in college and everything in life is meant to be a springboard to the next big break, but, frankly, that’s fucking exhausting. It’s exhausting to have to censor myself on Facebook every day or to treat every class like it’s the difference between a career and student debt or update my LinkedIn with every job (in fact, I have not done that). There’s so much pressure on students to stand out and have the ideal listicle of extracurriculars and the perfect GPA that, oftentimes, the little joys of college life like hanging out with a friend until 3 am and having the freedom to do basically anything I want on a given day without the structure of “real-world” responsibility is lost. This course and this assignment in particular is my little way of rebelling against The Man and doing something just because I want to.

Is this a classist show of leisure and a waste of tuition money so I can write about teenage rebellion within the cozy blankets of my upper-middle class bed? Perhaps. But is it what I feel I need in order to not go crazy in a stifling and terrifyingly fast world? Definitely. I’m already over half way through my undergraduate career (aww!) and I’ve realized that if I do what I like to do, I’ll have much better results than if I half-ass a bunch of things. Also, it makes me feel better about my decisions to note that I truly did not realize why I wrote until I was forced to do this assignment. This desire to rebel and find impractical beauty in writing was hiding just beneath the surface of my consciousness this whole time; I didn’t choose to do this, it just kinda happened. So don’t think too lowly of me, because I was just reflecting on what I’ve already done. Rather, I hope you can channel your own rosy-hued Romantic (with a capital R) and see that I’m just taking a break, I’m just doing it for a grade.

So I invite you to do the same: take a break from the demanding world and give yourself a little ‘you’ time, and continue on to my Re-Purposing project. That email can wait an extra 10 minutes.